I have had many changes
in my life for the past 22 years, but nothing seems as immense as stepping into
the work force. I couldn’t stop reminiscing about the past and simply bask in
how raw certain feelings used to feel, and realise how much I have grown ever
since.
Life experiences are far more important than exams,
grades, and the school you go to.
I barely scraped through
my secondary school education. Even though I was among the top two classes of
the cohort, my grades always landed me at the bottom of my classmates. Did it
feel good? Of course not. But I am thankful for that. Until now, I am still
relieved that I didn’t achieve my ideal ‘O’ levels T-score because if that
happened, I would never have chance upon Early Childhood Education. This
profession changed my life for the better and I wouldn’t want to imagine the
kind of person I am today if I took a different course.
During my poly days, I
learnt how to be a people-person. Afterall, my profession requires me to
interact largely with humans every day. I learnt how to laminate perfectly,
create a learning corner from scratch, write my own resume… All these seem like
nothing until I landed on a job that I was completely clueless about, and these
skills saved me.
During my uni days, I
learnt to support people without power. I learnt to stand up for the minority,
address sensitive issues, collaborate with media and organisations… I learnt
that learning is endless and that school and assignments are never a
competition (which is the opposite of what primary/secondary schools try to
deliver). I learnt to look forward to hearing other people’s ideas because they
are always, so impressive. I learnt that inspiration and motivation form the
foundation of education, not memorising, drilling, or burning midnight oil.
True enough, good grades
bring you closer to the place you want to be. But education that is merely
academic-focused is useless. Life experiences are the ones that can bring you
far.
That being said, education is very important.
If you have a calling,
the only way for you to reach your goal is to equip yourself with the essential
knowledge and skills. These are important stepping stones that you need to
achieve whatever you want to achieve. How are you going to change the world if
you have no knowledge about your topic of interest? How are you going to
manifest your dreams if you are unable to present and explain your ideas? Are
you able to convince people that your dreams are important and that you have
what it takes (the knowledge, skills,
perseverance) to make it happen?
Doing something of
passion or interest may sound like it’s the most crucial, however, it can be
hard to achieve especially in a Science- and Math-dominant country like
Singapore. Without paper qualification, one is bound to face challenges. Sometimes,
you have to do what you don’t like, in order to do something you love
eventually. It’s okay. It will all be worth it. I always believe that doing
something we don’t like allow us to learn and pick up so much more. We won’t
grow from a smooth-sailing life. Work hard to make sure that in the near
future, you can work happy.
The only constant is
growth. You can’t just sit around, waiting for a degree to sit on your table or
a salary raise. The only way to improve your life is to improve yourself.
Education is a life-long process, for the fact that we will never run out
things to learn, unless we don’t want to.
I no longer have the capacity for people who are toxic
for me.
I may not have built
enough courage for me to confront people, but I grew to become so nonchalant
about letting people go. Often, we guilt ourselves for leaving people, even
when we’re not closely related to them, because the one who left first will
always be seen as the sinner. But what if every day, I am stressing out because
someone brings too much negativity to my life? The problem with toxic people is
that they aren’t necessarily bad people, they are just people bad for your
life. I always believe that there are people who will click instantly and
similarly, there are people who never will. I used to be so stressed out over
such issues but now, I learn to accept and let go. Truth is, when you realise
that a person is toxic for you, even when you try to put up a fake front, both
parties are bound to tire out.
Note: There’s nothing
wrong in giving up on people who manipulate you.
Saving. Pictures,
conversations, and money.
As someone who has
approximately 49,000 pictures of her favourite band, you can be darn sure I am
someone who is afraid of losing memories. Some pictures probably can’t tell a
thousand words, but they are really good at bringing back certain feelings that
we used to have. I don’t think that is something that can be replaced,
regardless of whether the feelings are positive or negative. I have deleted
most of the photos from the most dramatic phase of my life, probably out of
guilt, or maybe embarrassment, or even avoidance, and I truly regret even
though they are probably extremely
cringe-worthy.
Although I am heavily
reliant on electronics to communicate, until today, I always find online
conversations inauthentic. Of course, nowadays, with emojis and voice messages
it has changed a lot. I am not sure if anyone else in the world feels similarly
but I feel that whatever happens virtually stays in the virtual world. As such,
I have never had vivid memories of most of the conversations I have engaged in.
Keeping old conversation logs allows me to relive the past and remember how
people around me used to be like.
Money has always been a
form of security to me ever since I was very young. Knowing that I have enough
in my bank and that I have the ability to earn money makes me feel secured and
less stressful over financial issues. Let’s face it – without money, we
literally can’t do anything. You need money for education, transport, food,
convenience, and to maintain social relationships. As I begin earning money, I’m
more willing to spend on things and people I love, but saving is still a huge necessity
to keep my mind at ease.
Gradually, I learnt to love myself.
The 16-year-old me would
never imagined herself being this capable of self-love. I have come to a
realisation that self-esteem and confidence don’t equate to feeling perfect, but feeling good enough. I feel
good enough to step out of my house in my bare face; I feel good enough being
my true, unpretentious self; I feel good enough to not hate myself for my
mistakes; I feel good enough to never settle for anything less than what I
deserve.
Self-love cannot be
cultivated overnight, but it takes just one fearless thought to step out of
self-pity or self-despair because trust me, even you have had enough of
yourself. It is a long, excruciating process with doubts floating around but it
can be so self-fulfilling. It is probably a life-long cycle, but with
self-love, one is unstoppable.
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I title this post ‘Coming
to terms with being an adult’ but inside me, I am dying to continue being a
child. I interact with children daily, and every day I wish I enjoyed my
childhood more. I was so busy trying to grow up and act mature, that I missed
out on a whole lot of experiences that could bring small joys into my life. Nonetheless,
as an adult now, I feel that I’m more capable of managing my life to make
myself truly happy.