5 November.
You know those days, where you feel like shutting yourself away from the entire world?
Maybe I'm a little bit more to the introvert side compared to extrovert, but I think it's not enough to call myself an introvert. I just need a break from the people in my life once in a while. Even my closest friends. And sometimes even my family members.
You don't know how relieved I am whenever I wake up to my phone with no unseen texts. It's like "woah, I finally don't have to entertain people today." Because interacting with human beings can be so, so, draining sometimes. I'm glad that I'm finally out of all the "should I reply because if I don't reply then I'm mean but I really don't wanna talk to this person" or "sigh I'll just tell him/her that I'll be having dinner for 4 hours" or resisting the urge to tweet because if the world knows I'm awake I must reply texts.
But thankfully, it's been months since I last experienced it.
As much as I have all the lovely people around me, I always feel that I'm actually better off alone. Afterall, no one is unable to live without anyone. People leave, you're sad, new people enter your life, you're happy again. No matter how sad you get when someone important leaves you, one day you'll realise that even if you still miss him/her, you're living well, and perhaps even happier. Doesn't mean I don't cherish the people around me, I do. I really do. I just learnt not to feel too sad when they decide to walk out of my life without warning.
Lately I've been forgiving so much, that I feel so, so, tired. I don't use to do this, so I don't know why I'm doing it now either. It's really not easy swallowing down anger, really not easy to keep calm when inside I'm exploding. And people just don't get that I'm tolerating, and try to push my limits even further.
I'm really tired. But I hope people actually realise that I owe them nothing.