TwentyseventhJuly, Sun.

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IRRESISTABLETEMPTATIONS.

Am not really in a good mood now. Well, School was as boring. Didn't talked much because today is Goodgirlday. Went to the doc's after school, I'm sorry Yingshan for not waiting. Just realised that my flu and cough lasted for 5-6days already. Yarh, So. I'll end here.

Sometimes it's really saddening to realise that I have no one to go to when I'm down. Not as in seriously no one at all, But you just somehow know that those people will just cheer you up and tries to change subjects to make you feel better. But you know, The problem is still not and never solved. And you would try to act like they really cheered you up already in order not to put them down. I'm not trying to say that you guys didn't do your best, I appreciate your efforts. But sometimes, It's not jokes and methods to cheer me up that I want. I need advices, Sensible and matured advices. I dont know why I'm still thinking so much about everything even after I made my stand saying that no more Bgr for now. Sometimes I really get sick of myself and just cant stop thinking why the hell didn't my suicide succeeded during Primarysix. Maybe the hell doesn't want me there yet, Maybe. Or that I'm made to still live in this world so that I will suffer more before I really die. But no matter what, I wont cry. I wont cry, Anymore.

And you. Yes, You. I dont know why am I still feeling this way after all the promises I made to myself. This hot and cold you, Tell me how to adapt. If I'm not falling for you, Explain to me why am I feeling so affected just because of such small little matters. Tell me why. I know I have no rights to interfere anything about you. But sometimes I really hope you could just tell me about your problems so that I can share your sorrow and stress with you. I'm confused, Can you tell me why ? For now, I'll just have to hope for the best that I'm just feeling so depressed over this small little matter just because you're a very important friend to me.