FTISLAND; ♥
CHOIJONGHUN, LEEHONGKI, LEEJAEJIN, SONGSEUNGHYUN, CHOIMINHWAN.
Read the story of Ftisland: Click here.
7 June 2012.
Someone once asked me, "What is your purpose of
living?" I had no answer back then, And I was told that if I don't find it
one day, I'll never live my life to the fullest.
30 December 2009. I was bloghopping as usual, And this
one girl has I Hope MV as her blog song. The song is really really adorable and
catchy, So I went to search up on it, Googled all about Ftisland, Got attracted
by Jaejin, BOOMZ. My life of a fangirl started. And it was a really interesting
experience indeed. I didn't even know about the exact date at first, Then I searched on my Msn conversation history and found it because I was talking to one friend of mine.
It felt really weird at the beginning because I only
focused on Jaejin. Really just him. To be honest, It took me
about 2 to 3 months to start to notice that other members have their own charm
as well. And after watching videos day after day, I fell deeper. I've never
thought that I would ever like celebrities this much. I used to be a 'fan' of
celebrities because I find them handsome/hot/cute/good-looking. So whenever I
found one of their unglam photos, I'll stop being their 'fan' because I don't
find them attractive anymore. What a bitch, I know. :/ But for Ftisland, I wasn't
even a little swayed. Although Ftisland is still good-looking(haha), I knew it was
different this time round. I don’t love them for superficial purpose. I love
them because they’re Ftisland. I love how they make me feel. I look forward to everyday, I smile like an
idiot for no reason, And I wake up crying sometimes because of my dreams. Yes,
They've became my purpose of living. I have never felt that life is this
wonderful.
I won't deny the fact that loving them is not an easy job.
Primadonna is a rather small fandom compared to others, And to achieve something
we have to work extra hard. Because every single one of us makes a great difference.
Whenever they have a comeback, The routine starts. Searching, Streaming,
Voting, Increasing views, Trending. And sometimes even when we vote our lives away, We
still don't win. But finally, In 2012, We did it. I've never cried so hard just because I was so happy ever in my life.
9 February 2012. Ftisland got their first trophy from
M!Countdown this year. And awards came in one by one after that. Hongki and
Seunghyun shed tears, Jaejin was holding it back, And Jonghun's expression was like "is
this a dream?", And Minhwan was just happy haha. I felt a gush of guilt that
overwhelmed me at that point in time. Why didn't I work hard enough to make it possible earlier? To
me, Winning or not does not really matter as long as Ftisland has the talent
and the support from Primadonna. But if it could make them feel happy and let
more people recognise them, I would do everything for them to get it.
15 January 2012; The best day of my life. No doubt.
Although everything still feels like a dream, Although I still cannot believe
the fact that I saw you guys moving right in front of my eyes and that Jaejin gave me his failed wink, Although I have
no memory of what songs were sang during the concert, It was extremely
wonderful. I still regret not skipping school for the fansign session on 16th
though. :/ Watching Jaejin smile to other girls and shake their hands evoked
many mixed emotions in me, I won’t deny that I felt really really bad. But
well… There’s always another chance isn’t it? Haha.
In a few months' time, I'd enter the world of guitar. I believe it would bring in even more meaning to my life. And it's something Ftisland and Juniel had inspired me to do, So I'll learn it well.
Today marks the date of your debut for five years. I'm not good in expressing my feelings in words, Because there's just no word in the English dictionary that can truly explain how I feel. And of course nothing can ever explain my love for you guys. I'm sorry if I missed out anything in this post but I've checked billions of times and I guess I tried my best. I thank God for letting me realise the existence of you five. My
biggest regret would probably not noticing you guys earlier. Thank you for the
wonderful music you brought to the world. Your songs cover my heart with warm blankets every time, And it feels really comfortable. Seeing how far you guys have come, It
still pains me inevitably. All the problems you guys have overcome by
yourselves: leaving of fans, departure of Wonbin, acceptance of a new member,
not getting recognition as a band… I’m sorry I wasn’t there. But for now, All
the hardship and obstacles that you guys would face in the future, I’m here.
Even if the whole world leaves, I’m here. Always. I won’t deny the fact that I
didn’t hold on to all the promises I have made in my life, But the promises I
have made to you guys, I’d hold on to it till I die.
I need you.
I miss you.
I want you.
I love you.
I say these sentences so many times that I'm afraid that
if I keep on repeating them, They would lose their meaning. Then I would run
out of words to express my love for you guys. I feel really really bad for only
being able to express my love using monetary terms. But if I could, I swear I
would do anything. Because the things you guys gave me, They're priceless.
It's amazing how you guys have changed my life. For a better one, Of course. I know I've repeated this many many times, And I don't know how to put it into words either.. Ever since I know your existence, I strive to become a better person everyday. Cutting down on vulgarities, Learning to be more lady-like and demure girl, Be less mean towards others. Of course I'm not saint or holy, But I just want you guys to know that you changed me.
I feel motherly sometimes because of you guys actually, Haha! Nagging you all to eat, Nagging you all to rest and sleep early, And feel so hurt in place of you all at the sight of haters. I take pride in you guys just like a mother would in her children. So when someone says something negative about you guys, Yeah, I feel like grinding that person. But sometimes I feel small as well. Those times where you guys made it through the obstacles of life, Those times where you guys persevere for the sake of music, When you guys are courageous enough to try new things. Like wow, Manly. Haha! I guess I still have a lot to learn from you guys! ^^ And yeah of course, Most of the time I feel 花痴. Dreaming of marrying Jaejin, How Minhwan would be a super sweet boyfriend, How Jonghun would be so so so so SO romantic, What a cute boyfriend Hongki would be, And how Seunghyun could probably make me laugh every single second if he's my boyfriend. Everyday I make up scenarios in my head and then smack myself after giggling at my creation.
It has been probably around two and a half years ever since I
officially called myself a Primadonna. I've never regretted anything that I've
done for you guys. I'm just regretful for everything I've not. Thank you for
always being the pillars of my life. I've never met anyone who can turn my
frown into a smile so fast. It feels amazing, Really. It’s as if I can’t go one
whole day feeling negative at all, Haha. Times like those, I really need
nothing but you guys. I may not express my love for you guys as often as last
time because it's a rather busy year for me(but I'll still fork out time for you guys!), But rest assure that I won’t love you guys any lesser. Everyday I find a new reason why I love Ftisland. I just want you
guys to know that you make me truly happy every single day and you guys never ever failed to make me proud. No matter what happens in the future, Please be happy. Be very very very happy. Because your happiness is all that matter and your smiles are my strength. I
thank God for your existence. Because when I look up, I know we're under the
same piece of sky. I will hold on to the hope that you guys will one day know
how much you guys mean to me.
And for Wonbin, I've never forgotten you and I never will. You'll always stand a place in my heart and be part of Ftisland. Ftisland wouldn't be who they are right now without you either. All the very best for everything in life, I'm sorry I couldn't buy your latest album because it was too expensive and I'm saving up for a guitar right now. :( I promise, I'll get it as soon as I have the money! Love you!Happy debut Juniel! I swear no one has ever inspired me the way you did. I was totally amazed when I saw you playing the guitar. I can't wait to play the guitar after my O levels now! I'm so sorry for noticing you so late. You have overflowing talent and I see the potential in you. I look forward to the songs you'll produce in the future. All the way, Unni!
Ftisland is adorable.
Ftisland is talented.
Ftisland is lovable.
Ftisland is dorky.
Ftisland is hilarious.
Ftisland is inspiring.
Ftisland is wonderful.
Ftisland is childish.
Ftisland is childish.
Ftisland is beautiful.
Ftisland is lively.
Ftisland is precious.
And always always remember,
Ftisland is amazing.
And many more, Of course. :P
To my lovely treasures,
Happy Fifth Anniversary.
I love you.
To the core,
And beyond.
未来的路还很长呢，但是不管多长，多累，我都会陪着你们走下去，这辈子也不会放弃。
“Let’s stick together till we die.” – Hongki.
