9th August.
It's 7.20am now. On a school holiday, I could've been a pig and sleep till 9. But I simply can't. Your voice.. It kept echo-ing in my head. From yesterday night till now. And still going on. I can't stop but kept thinking about you. I want to get closer to you and know you better, At the same time I'm afraid that everything is just a hoax. A lie. A I don't know what. Because there's something insecure about you. The fact that you made me fell so deep like within two conversations, Kind of show that you're great in handling girls(I wish you can prove me wrong, Though). And judging by all the honeyed words you feed me with, I can't really fully trust you, Can I? And what's with all the MIA-ness? Is this the new way to get a girl? Text her on every Thursday and disappear once it hits 6pm? What are you, A male Cinderella or a werewolf or what? And make her wait for your text for one whole freakin' torturing week before she can receive your text again? Are you playing hard to get just because I am? But I infatuated on you and that's a fact. Do you wonder if I like you too? Or do you hide your smirk underneath and then tell your friends 'I hooked up a girl, She's all over me. Ha. Ha.'? Sorry if I'm thinking too much. But still.
Everyone seems to know what they want. I know I want you. But my freaking freaking pride. My stupid pride is stopping every single thing. I should've replied you the way my heart would reply. Instead of letting my brain link to other irrelevant stuffs. Is it that I don't like you enough? Because when I'm with my friends I can totally forget about you. Until I'm alone again. Or is it because I know you're slightly interested in me that I'm able to take all these rubbish? I know you're waiting. Waiting for my reply to see if when we can possibly meet up. But I simply HATE taking initiative. It feels as if I'm unwanted. And I know if I meet you up, I don't think there's any way to turn back anymore. Stop making me melt all over when I see your messages and hear your voice. I can't fall deeper. I need to get out of this. We're possible but I don't want us to be. I need to stop liking you.
I'm giving myself a month's time. Please. Don't start texting me. I'll get over it myself. But if you start texting me again, I'll have to start it all over. Sorry. Because I can't infatuate on you or anyone right now.
OKAY. Let me get some Singapore spirit now and be hyper for the day. Forget about him for a day, Not that hard right? I know Qidi's a strong girl. :) Yay. Thanks for everyone who had no choice but to listen to my crap yesterday night. Appreciated, (L).